


Take Me Home

by blindewok



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Death, Established Relationship, Human Castiel, M/M, Minor Character Death, Sick Dean Winchester, death with a semi happy ending if you squint?, im sorry i dont know how to end stories, its destiel its the otp what more do you want, take it just take it from me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2018-08-12 06:09:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7923550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blindewok/pseuds/blindewok
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the death of his mother, Castiel suffers a breakdown and flees Kansas, leaving behind his home and the love of his life. Eight years later fate will reunite them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_“You think this is what Anna wanted?! Just to run away from your problems??”_

 

_“You have no idea what my mother wanted. Hell, I didn't. It sure as hell wasn't to stay in this god forsaken town.”_

 

_“So, that's it? You're just gonna leave?” Dean’s voice went an octave higher. “You're really gonna leave me here?”_

 

_“Dean, I don't love you anymore and you need to realize that.”_

 

_“You can go. Just know...I’ll wait.”_

 

_The look on Dean’s face as he walked out the door is one Castiel will never forget._

* * *

 Castiel woke with a shout and as usual drenched in sweat. The same dream, the same feeling, the same lie being said. He got up off the couch to get a glass of water and stood at the counter looking around his tiny apartment. He hated it here, he hated the people, and he hated the weather. It was too damn cold and too windy. Why he had decided New York was the place to settle he'll never really know.

He looked at the clock and saw he’d thankfully woken up right in time to get ready for his shift at the diner. Gently scooping his cat off the counter and onto the floor he started his morning.

As he walked into his bedroom and walked to his closet to get his work shirt he ran his hand over the last thing that he had of Dean's, Dean's favorite Led Zeppelin shirt. It was worn from the years and thinner than it been eight years earlier due to Castiel’s extensive wear of the shirt. It didn't smell like Dean anymore, but it still _felt_ like Dean, that was why he still had it.  

He shook his head and pulled the black button up off the hanger. Looking at his shirt he may as well get the iron out to smooth out the wrinkles, even though he knew no one at the diner would notice nor care, once the lines are gone.

* * *

 

Cas stood against the door of his car waiting for Gabriel to show up. Since agreeing to work for his cousin he has almost always shown up before Gabriel. He keeps telling Gabriel to give him a key but Cas thinks if he were to have more than one key he'd end up not coming to his own diner at all.

 

Gabriel walked up whistling like he always did, “Gooooooood morning to you! Oh good morning toooooo you!” Gabriel stopped and did a theatrical pose.

 

“Good morning, Gabriel.”

 

“Oh, come on, Cassie it's a kinda nice day. Let your hair down, talk to a bird, and for the love of god smile."

 

Gabriel went up to the diner door and unlocked it.

 

It was almost five and their regulars would be arriving soon. Adam was on vacation and Michael, well he was on vacation with Adam, so for another week it was just going to be the two of them.

 

They started their usual morning routine, Gabriel started the coffee up, and Cas went into the back and immediately started pulling out ingredients to start cooking up some things.  

 

In a way it was always peaceful even with Gabriel. They had a system and they never changed it and Cas was thankful for that.

 

“Cassie do me a favor and flip on the sign.”

 

Cas walked over to the neon sign and pulled the chain to _open_ looking up at the grey skies he couldn't help but sense something in the world wasn't right.

* * *

 “ _Male. Late 20’s. Found collapsed in home.”_

 

_A pretty blonde woman ran in flushed and crying; she had a boy following behind with long hair._

 

_“Please they brought my son in you have to tell me, where is he?!”_

 

_The young boy she was with just looked as if he were ready to take charge if he needed. They had the same worried face and eyes._

_“He's been taken into ICU, you'll be able to see him once he's stable and we've made sure what the cause was.”_

* * *

 ”Seriously guess, how many can I stick in my mouth?”

 

“Gabriel please stop putting the donuts in your mouth.” Cas gave his cousin a pained look because, how were they related?

 

“Damn no fun Nancy.” Gabriel sat down the donuts and considered saying something for a minute. “Y’know, Sam asked how you were.”

 

Cas smiled. He always liked Sam. Always felt Sam was like a little brother or a best friend to him. “Did you tell him I was well?”

 

“I told him you're still boring as hell and belong in a dungeon of books.”

 

“Always the charmer, Gabriel.”

 

Gabriel fiddled with the corner of the counter. “Have you thought about what I said to you?”

 

“I can't go back.”

 

“Why the hell not? What have you got to lose? Seriously, Cassie, what?”

 

Cas sighed, “Gabriel I left, no wait, I _shattered_ things when I left. I can never go back home even if I want to so no I'm not going back.”

 

“What if you had a reason to? What if you miss a chance to go back? To the one person who, yes, is your soul mate, and yes, you fucked up. Damn it, Cassie for Dean's sake it's been eight years go back and fix it!”

 

Before Cas could respond the bell jingled signaling a customer out front and Gabriel hopped off his stool to attend to them. What did he mean for Dean's sake?

 

He'd been thinking about Dean, more than usual, his mother always said he and Dean had a weird bond since they were little. They'd always know when something was wrong with the other Dean would either come over to Cas’ or vice versa.

 

Lately the feeling started to almost hurt and he really had thought about contacting at least Mary. He didn't want to bother Dean because after all he did to him he doesn't expect Dean to ever speak to him.

 

He'd looked up Dean actually about three years ago. He found him on Facebook and saw a picture of Dean with Meg. Cas remembered smiling at the picture because in the picture Dean had her in tight embrace.  

 

He felt an ache in his chest just like he did when he saw the picture. He ached because he missed Meg but he missed Dean. Dean looked happy but not the happy Cas always knew of course he still looked beautiful but he wasn't Dean.

 

Shaking off whatever Gabriel was going to say Cas watched him from the back and he always had to admit, although Gabe was a complete goof, he was an extraordinary salesman. Gabriel had run “Roadhouse” for about ten years, since the previous owner Ellen married her longtime partner - a man named Bobby Singer.

 

Gabriel had come to the Roadhouse ever since his mother had began working there. Gabriel and his mother had moved to New York because Naomi wanted a better life for her son. Up until Cas was 20, even though Gabriel teased him mercilessly, Cas and Gabriel had always been inseparable. Although aunt Naomi was no longer with them, Gabriel felt as if it were his duty to keep up the old diner in her memory that, and Ellen would kick his ass if he let her diner go down. He also felt it were his responsibility to look after Castiel.

 

Cas liked the diner it was one of the few places that felt sort of homelike to him since he left...home.

  
He scrubbed down the counter in the back when he suddenly felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up, he head started to hurt, and he felt tense. He'd felt this a few months ago the same feeling. He walked towards the back of the room he and Gabriel would hang out in when no one was in the diner. Walking up to the door with the big glass window he looked up toward the sky waiting for whatever news was about to come.


	2. Chapter 2

All he could hear were the muffled noises of a heart monitor.

 

Hospital again then. He slowly opened his eyes and took in the obnoxious white color of the hospital room. Looking around, he sees his mother sleeping in a recliner and the light in the bathroom is on so he suspects Sam is there too.

 

The sink handles makes a squeaking noise and out walks Sam. He looks exhausted but Dean doesn’t blame him, he hasn’t found out if it’s been minutes, hours, or days.

 

“Heya Sammy.” Dean’s throat felt scratchy, not quite irritated, so it hasn’t been days then.

 

Sam had that look on his face. The look he gets when he’s about to go into an emotional speech, but instead he just sighed.

 

“So, instead of giving me about five beatings from looks, how about ya get me a drink of water.” Sam walked over to where Dean was and picked up the pitcher and poured his brother a cup of water. Dean slowly drank the water, he was amazed their mother had yet to wake. “How long I been out?”

 

“Just six hours.”

 

“Eh, not so bad. I must be getting better at this.” Dean, laughed but didn’t look up to his younger brother because he knew good and well Sam would know right away how afraid he was in that moment.

 

“Mom found you this time.”

 

“I’m okay, Sam.”

 

“Yeah, well, mom didn’t know that. For all she knew you were dead.”

 

The silence in the room felt heavier than anything Dean had ever felt.

 

He hears Mary is moving around and looks over and sees her smiling at him softly.

“Dean. Thank goodness you’re awake, sweetie. How do you feel?” Mary had barely opened her eyes and was already prepared to be in full mom mode.

 

“Yeah, mom, I’m good. You okay?” Dean ignored the look he knew his brother was giving him. Due to his previous statement about what everyone who knows Dean knows.

 

Mary sighed, “Honey, I’m fine. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

 

“Mom, of course I’m fine. Nothing can get Dean Winchester down for the count. Well, that’s not true, I get pretty weak in the knees for Scott Baio.” Dean giggled.

 

Sam made a groaning noise. “Dude, you’re like almost 30, please just find Scott and tell him you want his babies already.”  

 

“Bite me, bitch.”

 

“Jerk.”

 

“ _Boys.”_ Mary laughed this time. It was always good to see even when things like this happened her boys were still the same to each other as they were when they were just...well boys.

 

“Really mom, I’m fine. It was just the usual thing I feel fine.” Dean didn’t want his mother to worry. Hell, he didn’t want Sam to worry either, but that if there was one thing he couldn’t control it was that.

 

“Honey, I just want you to remember next time you feel like you’re goi-” Mary stops and in walks the doctor. “Dr.Masters, how have you been?”

 

“Hello, Mrs.Winchester. I’ve been well, how’s my favorite family?” Doctor Masters had a slight southern drawl in her voice it seemed as the years passed it got thicker. Dean liked her, she didn’t put up with his shit and somehow she could tell when Dean wasn’t being honest about how he was feeling. Dean also wasn’t allowed to call her Doc, Ms.Masters, or even anything to do with her being a doctor. She always corrected Dean to call her Meg.

 

“We’ve been alright, besides-” Mary side eyes her eldest.

 

“Dean, have you been causing some trouble?” Meg turned to Dean.

 

“Ah hell can’t take a nap these days and people think you ‘fainted’ I was resting my dainty eyes.” Dean crosses his arms and tries to act like he didn’t feel the tightness that pulled in his chest.

 

Meg laughs, “Alright big guy we believe you. Now how are we feeling right now? Any dizziness, shortness of breath, or racing heart rate?”

 

“I'm fine. I mean it, I feel great. I'll have you know I have some things scheduled to do yknow I got a interview to do at the shop.”

 

Sam speaks up, “Actually, I already got on that Ash’s going to take care of that so you don't have to worry about it.”

 

“Well, look at that Deanie you got nowhere to go looks like you get bed and breakfast, huh?” Meg was watching Dean, closer than she was a minute ago, the amount of time she had been treating she knew when Dean was hiding how he was really feeling.

 

“Any excuse just so you can prick my pretty skin right, doc?”

 

“You know hospitals, Winchester we love blood.” Meg turns to Mary and Sam, “Now if you wouldn't mind I need a minute alone with my patient. I shouldn't be but 10 minutes with him, then you can have him back.”

 

“Of course. Come on Sammy we’ll get some coffee.” Mary picked up her purse and linked her arm with her younger son.

 

Soon as they left the room Meg walked over to the side of Dean's bed. She pulled her stethoscope out of her pretty white doctor's coat and put it to Dean's chest. “How are you?”

 

“I'm fine.”

 

“You can tell me Dean. They're not here right now. Tell me what happened when you fainted.”

 

Dean blinked back tears and took a deep breath. “I was outside working on Baby and I guess I got too into it or something, I don't know and suddenly it felt like my heart was gonna pop out of my chest it was beating so hard. I went inside to get some water to relax and then...I blacked out. Woke up here.”

 

Meg looked at Dean, “What did I tell you about doing strenuous things Dean?”

 

“I wasn't really doing anything hard, all I was trying to do was change the oil.” Dean let out a frustrated groan. “It's not fair.”

 

“I know, but you have to watch what you're doing, and I know you like to do things that you want to do, it's hard, but you need to remember to take in consideration with how you're feeling that day.”

 

“So I know you guys did test how bad is it now?”

 

Meg looked at Dean with kind eyes, “Well the good part is I don’t have any bad news. On the other hand the bad news is it’s still the same. It’s still functioning at the same rate it was the last time this happened so that’s the upside.”

 

Dean scoffed. “Good part. Thanks, doc. Least I’m not dying, thank god.”

 

“Long as we keep it under control smart-ass, no one will be dying.” Meg shook her head at Dean and he could tell she meant it that there was no _real_ danger. “Everything sounds good Dean I can assure that at least but have you thought about what I said last time?”

 

“I don’t need to talk to a therapist, I have friends and honestly I’m happy why do people think I’m sad or whatever?”

“You can be happy, but that doesn’t mean you’re always able to be. Dean you know what I mean when I suggest it with everything you’re dealing with, you need someone to express it to.”

 

“Honestly, I mean it I’m fine. I don’t need anyone to talk to there’s nothing to talk about.”

 

“Your emotional health affects how your physical health goes you do remember I'm your doctor and not just a friend?”

 

“Aww Meg you consider me a friend?” Dean smiled a goofy smile and managed to get Meg to snort.

 

“Don't try to change the subject doofus I mean it. There's a lot of people that care about you and what you're going through isn't easy. Just one more time reconsider it.”

 

Dean sighed, “You know why I won't go, Meg.”

 

“Dean it's been eight years. She's not him. They may be family, but Hannah is not him.”

 

“I just don't wanna walk in, look in her eyes and--” Dean stops because oh hell he did not want to cry in front of Meg.

 

Meg puts her hand on Dean's shoulder. “You still miss him.”

 

“No shit and just looking in her eyes that's like staring at a piece of him.”

 

“Have you tried to get in contact with him? He was my best friend remember? He may have been an asshole when he left, but he loved you more than anything.”

 

“Can you ask mom to come back in here I need her to get something at the house for me.”

 

“Dean--”

 

“No. We're done talking, Meg.”

* * *

 

“Should I get in contact with him and tell him what’s been going on with Dean?” Sam asked Mary, who was somehow already on her second cup of crappy hospital coffee.

 

“Don’t you think that should be Dean’s job?” His mother raised her brow at him.

 

“Well, what if I hinted around to it a little bit before I did it?” Sam gave a pleading look to his mother.

 

“How do you even know he’d come back here or even talk to Dean? He was the one that left, remember? Why contact him now? Dean's been dealing with this for the last eight years, Sam.”

 

“Mom. I know Dean isn't getting worse Meg's made sure we know that, but this is something in his life that got left unresolved and what if I could help fix it?” Sam knew he was getting into Dean's life but he wanted Dean to be happy again.

 

“How are you going to even find him? Does Hannah know?”

 

“No, uh, I've kind of kept in contact with his cousin.” Sam rubbed the back of his neck because not like they were dating but he'd been keeping up with him for the last eight years.

 

“Which cousin? Balthazar? I thought he moved to France before Anna got sick?”

 

“No, not Balthazar. Um, Gabriel.” Sam said the name lowly because the once or twice he'd been to Lawrence his mother didn't really say much about him.

 

“Oh, okay. Why didn't you tell me you'd kept up with him since he left?”

 

“You don't really tell your family ‘hey, so I've made sure to know where Dean's ex boyfriend is yeah the one whom he was madly in love with and left and broke his heart’ not really something you say.” Sam chuckled lightly because he was kind of nervous talking about it to his mother.

 

Mary dazed off into her coffee, “You know I’m glad you did Sam. When Cas took off I was worried about him after all that happened. I promised Anna I’d look after him he wasn’t in the best state and I should have done something.”

 

“Mom, you did a lot of good for Cas. He didn't listen that was on him not you he made his choices.”

 

“You're right, you're right. Anyway, just don't upset either of them.”

 

Meg walks up, “Trust me, you can't hurt my feelings just bring me a chocolate anything and I'll forgive you.” Leave it to Meg to make jokes. “You can go back, I'm done poking and prodding him.”

 

“Did everything sound okay?” Mary sounded more concerned than she wanted.

 

“Mrs.Winchester, you have a semi healthy bouncing baby boy sadly he's already talking though.”

 

Sam snorted behind Mary. “That's a pity.”

 

“Okay, enough teasing he's not even here to get back at you two.” Mary chuckled and started walking back toward the room where Dean was.

 

As she got closer to the room she heard Dean talking to a nurse. “Dr.Sexy is my favorite. I developed a kink for a man in cowboy boots thanks to that damn show.” Mary snorted and walked in.


	3. Chapter 3

The telltale sound of a Facebook message came through Gabriel's laptop.

 

_ Sam: Hey Gabe _

_ Gabriel: Well hello Sam-o how ya been? _

_ Sam: Been great. Remember the internship, I told you I was getting at the firm? _

_ Gabriel: Yeah? Tell me you got it! _

_ Sam: I did! That's not why I'm messaging though I mean it's good to “talk” to you. I know I should more just, been busy, but it's about uh Dean. _

 

Gabriel swallowed because he'd hate to think Dean had gotten…

__

_ Gabriel: What's up, kiddo? Is he okay?? _

_ Sam: Oh god, he's fine, well he had to go to the hospital again yesterday and mom and I just started talking about Cas. _

 

Hands hovering above the keyboard Gabriel waited for perhaps a second message to elaborate a little more. He knew Cas was the one to walk away, but he was very protective of him. He and Cas would talk about Dean but that was only when Cas had had a few drinks. Otherwise the past eight years, it was as if Dean Winchester was an imaginary friend that was  _ very  _ special to Cas. True, he and Sam discussed them more than two school girls excited over a cute boy.

* _ ping* _

_ Sam: I wanted to talk to you first about this before I did anything.  _

_ Gabriel: Yeah? _

_ Sam: Listen, I know we make jokes about how they should just make up already, but yesterday got me really thinking. God forbid something did happen to Dean but what if it does? What if something happens and neither of them gets to tie up loose ends. Dean leaves this earth not knowing why he wasn't good enough for Cas. What if Cas finds out Dean's gone and feels really guilty because...he ran too far and never got to look back and fix what was broken or what he thought was broken? What if we could have done something to help them feel peace Gabe? _

_ Gabriel: I know it's been eight years, but you know Cas I don't know if he'll ever own up to his shit.  _

_ Sam: I just wanted to ask you first before I did this though, I want to talk to him and Dean but neither of them know I talked to the other and if they both say they want to make things right well maybe I can talk Cas into coming into town. _

_ Gabriel: So you want me to talk to Cas about whether or not he wants to own up to his mistakes? Yeah, that's gonna go real well, kiddo. _

_ Sam: If you think it's a bad idea I won't do anything just keep you updated on how Dean is and talk like we normally do. _

 

Gabriel thought for a minute would Cas admit he was wrong after these years and go back and apologize to the only man, to Gabriel's knowledge, but who was he kidding he knew it was the truth, that Cas had ever loved. 

__

_ Gabriel: No, no I think we need to the only thing Cas does these days is talk to Alfie. _

_ Sam: His cat? _

_ Gabriel: That cat knows more than anyone would know don't doubt that cat.  _

_ Sam: If you say so. _

_ Gabriel: Meowver and out Samson gonna call him right now.  _

_ _ Sam: You're really getting lamer with age Gabe. Talk later. _ _

* * *

“Here I go again on my own. Going down the only road I've ever knoooown.” Dean laughed outside the garage door Ash was already working on Ms.Barnes’ truck then. 

__

“Good morning, sunshine!” Dean laughed as Ash hit his head on the hood of the old truck.

__

“Jesus, Winchester, make a noise when entering a man's territory.” 

__

“Hey, even if I'm ‘not allowed’ to work on ‘em this is  _ my  _ territory don't you forget it.” 

__

“Sure thing boss, man. So how ya feeling? Sam said you freaked ‘em out he thought you bit the bullet.”

 

“Thanks for having so much faith in my health Ash really appreciate it bud. No, I'm fine Meg said I had nothing to worry about just got a little worked up. Anyway, how'd that interview for the new mechanic go?”

“Dude, how ya think it went?”

“Didn’t know a thing did he?”

 

Ash shook his head. Dean walked toward his office, “Alright, alright, quit slacking, get the hell back to work!” As he closed the door he heard Ash laugh.

 

Dean sat down in his chair with a sigh and all but melted into it. Yesterday was pretty rough but it wasn't the end of the line.

 

Opening the drawer to his desk, he pulls out the bottle of whiskey his father had kept in it. Dean never drank it, he just liked the smell and the color of the liquid. 

 

He didn't miss John. How do you miss a man that you never knew? Leaving after Sam was born was a dick thing to do. John had missed out on getting to see what were to become two of the smartest guys you'd ever seen.

 

Dean then pulled out the few photos he had hid from everyone. The one of a very small Dean, baby Sam, young Mary, and John. The others were ones of when Dean was 16 and Sam was 12, back before he hit his growth spurt then two of Dean and Cas. 

 

The first was of them in the treehouse Cas’ dad Chuck had built for them. Dean remembers Chuck built on the tree house almost every day after work.

 

The  photo that brought pain to Dean was the one that was taken right before Anna had gotten sick. Dean had his arm around the waist of Cas and they were both smiling. Cas with his head leaning on Dean's shoulder. 

 

“Idiots.” Dean chuckled. Five years. He was still waiting. Dean hadn't dated anyone else in eight years, sometimes he wondered if Cas had moved on or if he was still trying to get back to himself. Either answer would be fine for him. He'd thought a lot about just finding him and saying hello.

 

Putting the items back in the drawer he picked up the phone to call Charlie and to assure her he's fine.

* * *

Cas kept himself steady he refused to blink. He wouldn't be beat damn it. “You brought this on yourself.” At that moment the cat meowed and head bumped his owner. “Touché.” He petted the tabby cat's head. 

 

“I’m glad you agree with me, Alfie.” Cas knew it wasn't healthy to talk to a cat but he didn't feel like talking to Gabe about it or calling Hannah. 

 

He walked out of the kitchen over to the front door with the cat hopping off the counter to follow. “I'll be back, Alfie. You know that.” The cat just stared at him. “Yeah, I know I think you look crazy sometimes too, but doesn't mean I mention anything.” Cas shrugged on his hoodie and headed out the door.

 

Jogging down the small path a few minutes from his apartment always gives Cas a sense of peace that can somehow never find. Maybe it was the trees, the flowers on the side of the bank, or maybe it was because it was actually quiet.

 

Running sometimes also brought a little pain. Before Anna got very ill, he and Dean would do morning jogs. They would laugh, Dean would make jokes about how good Cas looked, sometimes he would run ahead of Cas to show off. Just another thing he missed about his former life. 

He often thought of Mary and Sam too. Sam was like a brother to him. He and Sam would tease Dean especially when Sam hit his growth spurt. Mary was his second mother and he always felt guilty for leaving without giving Mary a real reason why. 

 

She probably felt guilt for not being able to help him. Mary and Anna had been best friends and Cas never forgot that during the final months how, not only Mary, but practically the entire Winchester family lived with him and Anna to help take care of her. He knew Mary made sure the boys were with her for Cas’ benefit.

“ _ DIRTY DEEDS DONE DIRT CHEAP! Dirty deeds and they’re done dirt cheap, ooh!”  _ Cas slowed to answer his phone. Gabriel. 

“Hello, Gabriel.” 

“Sup sweetie pateetie?” 

  
“I'm running what do you need?” 

 

“Jeez Cassie way to be a sweetheart.”

Cas groaned. Gabriel stalling wasn't a good thing. “Gabriel.”

“Can't a guy call his family without a reason??” 

Now Cas was getting worried. “Gabriel, are you okay?”

 

Gabriel sighed on the other line. “You think I can come over later? I mean, it's okay if you don't want me to, but it's kinda important.” 

“Of course you can. This is odd you never ask permission to come over you usually just show up and you're inside the door before I hear anything.” Cas was beginning to get very concerned. Was Gabriel okay? Did something happen to Adam? 

 

“This is kinda something I feel you're gonna want to actually know so it's why I'm asking.” 

  
“I'll be back in about 20 minutes. Come over whenever you want.”

* * *

”DAMN IT!” Dean shook his hand. Smashing your finger in a car door really wasn't a good sign of a good day. 

Ash laughed across the garage. “See why your ass belongs in the office?”

“Shut up damn door has loose hinges.” Dean glared at the door like somehow it'd unhurt his finger. 

  


“Yeah, ain't the only thing with loose hinges. Dean you know if your mom or brother comes by and sees I'm letting you help they'll skin my ass.” 

“I'm not glass I can work on a car window. Besides, they can't get in a fight with me upsetting me is just as  _ bad  _ as me working on a car.”

 

Ash sat down, his tools, “Hey, it's lunchtime anyway come on, leave it alone.” 

  
Dean sighed and followed Ash into the office. They both collected whatever they'd thrown in a bag and called it lunch and sat at the small table outside Dean's office. Dean walked over to the small tv and switched it on. They did this almost every day. Sometimes they would talk, sometimes they would just sit in comfortable silence, and other times they'd talk about a rude customer. 

Ash pulled out his sandwich, took a bite, then looked up at Dean. “Remember what I said the other day?”

Dean tapped his fingers against the table. “I just got out of the hospital yesterday and Meg already got on my ass please don't do this today Ash wait at least another day.”

“I'm just saying why not just call him?” 

“Ash.” Dean all but growled. 

Ash took another bite from his sandwich. “What if he wants to talk to you, but he's afraid you'd turn him away?” 

“If he wants to talk to me, I'm gonna let him come to me I don't wanna push him.” 

“You sure he knows that?”

 

“Damn it, Ash I'm not gonna make him feel obligated to talk to me when he doesn't want to or isn't ready. I know him. I told him I'll wait and I meant that. Now shut up about it and tell me about you and Ms.Barns.” Dean wiggled his eyebrows.

“Dude, I think I'm in love.”

 

Dean chuckles because Ash has had a crush on the feisty brunette since she first brought her car in. Personally, Dean thinks the woman keeps screwing up her car just to have an excuse to speak to Ash. 

“Ya asked her out yet?” 

“Whoa whoa whoa man! A gentleman takes his time with a Goddess. You don't go rushing in, you take your time. Ease her into your charm, teach her you're soft, then you make your move. Man, ain't anybody told you how to get a woman?” 

“Never really been in my radar to do unless she's gonna be suckered into being my friend ash. Remember wrong equipment.” Dean looks down at the table. “Also not Cas.”

 

“I'm telling ya man call him or something I'm sick of you wandering around this town like a puppy when you know where your owner is.” 

“Really? Owner?” Dean rolled his eyes. “Lunch is over finish your sandwich and get back to work.”

 

As Dean walked back out to the garage Ash yelled from inside, “Ya can't give a man just 10 minutes to enjoy a sandwich?!”

* * *

 

Gabriel walked up to Cas’ front door and just walked in. “Honey, I'm home!” Walking around the corner into the living room Gabriel sees a suitcase sitting on the couch with Alfie sitting on it.

Cas walked out of his bathroom with his toothpaste and toothbrush. “Gabriel can you grab my trenchcoat from my room?” 

“Uh, where's the fire Cassie?”

 

“I'm going home.” Cas stopped finally to look at Gabriel. 

Gabriel suddenly became serious because hey, he came here to talk him into this and he was beating him to the punch. “Well Susie would you care to share with the rest of the class how you got your answer?” 

“Something's wrong. I don't know what but something's wrong and I think Dean needs me.”

 

“Okay Cas stop and sit down I need to talk to you about something.”

Castiel stopped and sat on the couch next to his suitcase. “What is it, Gabriel?” 

“Dean's sick.” There was no point in sugar coating it so Gabriel just said it outright.

Castiel slowly questioned, “What do you mean sick?”

“Well, as of right now it's being handled and Sam says Meg has said they have it under contr--”

“Meg went to school to be a cardiologist. Something's wrong with his heart?! Gabriel how long have you known he's been sick? You haven't told me?!” 

“Cas calm down and  _ listen  _ to me. He has what...Cassie I know this is gonna be hard to hear, but he has what Aunt Anna had.”

Just like that it was as if Castiel was twenty years old again and he had found his mother collapsed on the bathroom floor. 

“Cassie? Cas look at me. He isn’t in as severe shape as she was they’re taking really good care of it. Sam keeps telling me Meg’s really happy with how his health is, she says he has a long life ahead of him.”

“I have to go home Gabriel. I have to fix what I did.” Just like that Cas was up again and gathering more of his things sure he didn’t have a ton of things but the things he did have held great meaning to him. More books and old records than he should have ever collected but he got bored at night. 

“You have to wait until Sam talks to Dean to see if it would be a good idea that you just suddenly showed up you don’t wanna give the guy a heart attack.”

“That isn’t funny Gabriel!” Cas snatched up Alfie from where Gabriel was petting him. 

Gabriel let out a breath. “Cassie you know I didn’t mean that I just mean don’t just show up out of nowhere to your ex boyfriend’s house.”

 

“You do know I lived in Lawrence it was my home not just because of Dean I can go back and if I happen to run into Dean or anyone we use to know then that’s that.” 

“I just don’t want you to go all the way back to something that may not be there.” 

 

“You do realize this is Dean and I you’re talking about? I can’t look at anyone else without thinking about him or comparing them to him. I know I was the idiot to walk away Gabriel and I certainly don’t deserve any kindness or forgiveness from Dean but whether Dean ever really knew or not I never saw myself with anyone but him.” The day Castiel left replays in his own head, as usually does, but this time he tries to remember Dean’s face this time.  Not the words, but Dean’s calm face and how he didn’t look hurt or angry. Leave it to Dean Winchester to look understanding and like what Cas was doing was just another day and the fact that if it took years it wouldn’t bother him. “I have to go back to Dean. Something in me is telling me I have to go back and I can only hope Dean still understands.” 

Gabriel stood up and put his arm around him. “Go get your man tiger!” 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

“We got a problem, boss.” Ash ran into Dean's office like a bat out of hell.

Dean blinked, “Well don't leave me in anticipation.”

“Big Bear is in the house. I repeat Big Bear has entered the garage.”

Sam walked up behind Ash and gave Dean's personal favorite bitch face. “Isn't it a little early for you to be wasted Ash?”

“I am a professional brother bear. I wait til I clock out.” Ash smiled at Sam and walked back out to the garage.

Sam snorted and shut the door and sat in front of his brother.

“So what do I owe the pleasure of this visit little brother?” Dean had his legs kicked up on his desk like he was a badass when he looked like he was two seconds from flipping backwards completely.

“What I can't visit my brother?” Sam wiped his hands on his legs a nervous tic Dean has always picked up on when Sam was afraid.

Dean put his feet to the ground and became more serious. “Sammy, what's wrong? Is mom okay? Did something happen?” 

“No, no mom's fine. I wanted to ask you something.”

Dean waited for Sam to go on with whatever he needed to say, which was odd because usually Sam just came out and said it, so patience is what he gave him.

“Would you be mad at me if I got in contact with Cas? He wasn't just your friend and boyfriend. He was my best friend too, and I miss him and I really need a friend right now.”

“Sam you don't have to ask me permission to talk to somebody that was your friend too. You know that.”

“I know it's just I don't wanna make things awkward if I start saying something he said or just bring him up in general.”

“Why would it bother me if you talk to Cas? I know you were one of his best friends too. He'd probably love to hear from you. I know you've been lonely since Jess went off to Europe with her friends it'll be nice if you start talking to him. If you get ahold of him..tell him I said hi.”

“I mean I already know how to get in touch with.”

“Oh really?”

Sam sank down in his seat a bit more. “I've kinda been talking to Gabriel.”

Dean laughed, “Gabe oh man well I guess the conversation is never dull, so that's good.”

“He talks about Cas all the time. He works at the diner with him and lives a few blocks from him.”

Dean fiddled with a pen on his desk and avoided eye contact. “So, how is he?”

“Oh Gabriel's fine, I mean he makes a lot of dirty jo--”

“No. I mean, Cas. How is Cas?”

“He's fine for the most part. Gabe says he doesn't get out much and he only hangs out with him or their coworkers Adam and his boyfriend Michael.”

“Yeah, I know.” Dean didn't try to hide the fact that he already knew all that about Cas he just wanted the confirmation that he wasn't seeing things wrong. There were times he thought that a good looking guy with dark short hair might have been Cas’ boyfriend then Dean saw them talking on Facebook and saw the ‘Adam’ guy make a very _loving_ comment towards Michael. Not long after he put that out of his head.

“You could reach out to him you know that, right?”

“No. I can't do that, Sam. That's like I'm pulling him into coming back just because I want him to I can't do that.”

“What if he wants to come back? What if he thinks you hate him and don't want him to come so that's why he's stayed away all this time?”

“Sam you know he has to know that wouldn’t be true. Besides, when he left I told him I’d be waitin’ until he was ready to come back.”

“You’re both ridiculous you know that? Gabriel says Cas is like a damn lost puppy always looking in the direction he came from but won’t make a move to go that way.” Sam snickered thinking about no matter if Dean and Cas were apart they were so much alike it was scary and funny at the same time.

“Well, I don’t have a problem if he comes back and if he doesn’t know that then that’s his fault isn’t it?”

Sam sighed and stood up. “You’re ridiculous you know that right?”

“No, I’m Dean.” Dean giggled and threw a paper ball at his little brother.

“Oh real mature jerk.”

“Bitch.”

“See ya later.” Sam waved a hand behind himself and walked out the office door and out to the garage to find Ash talking to the one and only Pamela Barnes.

“Well, hey there tall, dark, and damn handsome! Hadn’t seen you in a while how have you been?” Pamela walked over towards him and pulled him into a hug. For a small woman she was strong.

“I’m good Pamela how have yo--HEY!” Sam rubbed his cheek that had just been pinched.

“Oh, I’ve been great.” She smiled cheekily at Sam and Sam had to laugh at Ash who was stood to the side of them looking like somebody had just stolen his candy. Pamela seemed to notice because she slung her arm around Ash’s shoulders, “Come on Ash you know I only got eyes for you baby. Sam you’ll have to excuse me, I gotta talk to my man Ash here for a bit.”

“Take all the time you need to I’m sure Ash doesn’t mind.” Sam laughed at the look on his face for someone so confident all the time he seemed to turn into the shyest person around her. They were a match made in heaven.

* * *

”Cassie just do this for me okay? Don’t just give up your life here completely what if Dean tells you get the hell out of town? I’ll look after your place and Alfie if you wanna just go forever how long you end up being there.”

Castiel was standing by the front door and playing with his car keys. “I don’t think I’ll be coming back here, but I hope that you’ll help bring my things when I get settled in. Besides I think you’re only saying that because you don’t want to help me carry things to my car.”

“You said it, not me and you know I will Cassie I helped you move in here didn’t I? I may be a pain in the ass, but if you ever need me, I’ll always be here for you.”

“Thank you, Gabriel. I know you’re always here you always have been.” Castiel walked up to the smaller man and grabbed him into a big hug. “I’m still angry, you didn’t tell me anything sooner and while I’m gone, I can’t believe I’m saying this, eat the food in my fridge so it doesn’t ruin.”

Gabriel wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

Cas rolled his eyes and walked over to Alfie he patted the top of the cat’s head. Gabriel was already rooting around in the refrigerator and Cas hadn’t even left yet. He laughed and took one last look at the apartment he had called ‘home’ for the last eight years and headed out the door and back to his real home.

The ride in the car alone was almost peaceful. That last time he was in a position of leaving wasn't so peaceful. It was more of a desperate attempt to leave behind his problems, he'd seen and read about it, why couldn't he do it? The next few hours of driving were left to Cas to think of what the first words he was going to say to Dean.

“Dean, I know you may not want to see me, but I came back to say I’m sorry.” Castiel shook his head. “Is that too casual? Um. Dean, it’s so good to see you! It’s been so long. No, no, that’s...not right.” For the next few hours he spoke to himself alone in a car and more than a few people stared at the man with crazy hair arguing with himself at the red light. After twenty hours of driving and many self to self arguments later the scenery started to look all too familiar.

Gabriel called him right as he saw ‘Welcome to Lawrence’ at around five in the afternoon, “Hey honey how was work? Were the kids okay?” Castiel blames his laughter on the fact that he hadn’t slept. “Oh my god, Cassie you didn’t stop anywhere to sleep did you?”

“You know it’s illegal to be talking on the phone while I’m driving.”

“I hope the police do catch you, that way they can put you in jail and you’ll fall asleep.”

“Gabriel, I’m in Lawrence.”

"You drove all the way there without sleep. Okay, here’s the big plan stop at Walgreens and get concealer, it’ll hide the circles under your eyes, then ge--”

“Gabriel.” Castiel sighed.

“Fine! Go back to your ex lover looking like you’ve been in a fight with the mattress see if I care!” Cas heard Gabriel huff on the other end of the phone.

“I'll tell Sam and Meg you said hi.” Castiel chuckled again.

“Don't try to sweet talk me Castiel you left this house damn well knowing you ate all the ice cream. WHO LEAVES AN EMPTY ICE CREAM BOX IN THEIR FREEZER THAT'S NOT FUNNY.”

“Gabriel you were the last person that ate that ice cream not me. Also, I'm gonna call you back, I have to go say hello to someone.”

“Ugh fine. Call me or text me later I wanna know details.”

“Goodbye Gabriel.” He hung up and pulled into a small driveway. As he got out of the car he stretched for the first since well he sat down in the car. He chuckled at the small sign at the bottom of the steps of the small blue house. ‘Milton Family, Couples, and Self Therapy’ and the sign was hand painted with small bees and flowers.

He stepped out of his car and before he could make it up the steps to knock on the front door, "Castiel!”

“Hannah!” Hannah bound down the steps and jumped into a hug with her cousin. Castiel laughed, “It’s good to see you too.”

“Why didn't you tell me you were coming back? Meg's going to be so happy to see you.” Standing looking at each other you could have sworn they were brother and sister or well swore they were twins.

“It was kind of an in the moment decision.”

“Won't you come in and have a cup of tea or coffee? I don't have a client for another two hours.”

“I would love to but I dropped by for just a minute I have someone important I have to see first before I get really into socializing.”

“Oh.” She smiled softly. “He's at the garage around this time.”

Castiel smiled back. “Thank you, Hannah. I'll be back even if things don't go as planned, we need to catch up. What I was wanting to ask though, is can I leave my car parked here I want to walk into town like I use to.”

“Of course. Just pull it around back with mine.”

Cas nodded and did as he was told after that he headed into town. He knew things would look different hell it even _felt_ different. This town, he use to think was nothing but entrapment now felt like a dream.

The small streets were still busy at this time of day and it made him smile. Most of everything still looked the same, but at the same time new. He walked around the corner of what is still the sheriff station and a building that he use to spend way too much time in came into view.

* * *

Dean was bent over laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes. “Shut up, she’s tougher than she looks I can’t help I’m a lightweight compared to her!” Ash was pouting and wringing his oil rag in his hands.

“Man, I knew she’d out drink you and outsmart you on cars I could have told you that no sense in making a fool out of yourself.” Dean snorted and wiped his eyes. “Pamela is the walking definition of a bad ass and she already likes you, why do that?”

A wrench dropped to the concrete floor. “She likes me?” Ash stood up straighter and adjusted his pants. “Wait, how do you know?”

“She took mechanics with me in school.” He walked by Ash on his way out to the garage and patted him on the head.

Chuckling to himself and walking to the other side of the garage to fix his brother’s beat up old pickup truck, he started thinking back to high school. Pamela wasn’t the only one that took mechanics with Dean. He and Cas had made a deal at the beginning of the year that Dean would take an arts course with him and he would take a rougher hands on course with Dean.

Cas had a hard time at first, but pretty soon he was good enough, didn’t know quite as much as Dean, but enough that if he ever had car trouble he could handle it himself. Dean had taken photography with Cas. To say it wasn’t fun would be a lie because at one point he got to take pictures of him for a project and Cas was a very good subject for Dean.

As he started to slide underneath the truck, he saw someone’s business shoes walk up. “Be with ya in just a minute sorry I just slid down and I ain’t what I use to be. I use to be about as limber as a cheerleader.” He heard a deep chuckle from above and it made smile that he could make someone else smile.

“Take your time, Mr.Winchester.”

Dean started to slow what he was doing because that voice sounded familiar, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. “Whoa, whoa, it’s Dean. I already feel old don’t give me the Mr.Winchester thing.” He finally slid out from under the truck and took a rag to wipe his forehead and turned around and suddenly felt every breath in his body leave at once.

“.....Hello, Dean.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it's been so long since I've updated.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super short I know but I promise the next will be really long.

Green meeting blue for the first time in eight years was like every dream either had had. Neither said a word and both took steps towards each other the same time and met with a tight hug.

Dean buried his head into the other man's neck, “Cas.”

Cas chuckled once again and turned his head slightly to smell Dean's hair. A scent he'd missed. A scent of car oil and a shampoo Dean had used since they were sixteen years old.

When they pulled apart finally the distance between them was still barely a crack.

Dean leaned his head forward and met Cas’ forehead. “Took you long enough.”

“Apologies, I had some emotional baggage to dump off.”

Dean laughed at that then took a step back, “I'm supposed to be the angry ex I can't let you just waltz into my garage, y’know?”

“Would you like me to step outside the garage, then?”

Dean noticed Cas smirk just a bit and all the love and affection grew to what it use to be. “Good to know you're still a little shit.”

“You look good, Dean.”

“You don't look so bad yourself.” Dean walked up once again and messed with Cas’ hair. “I always liked when you grew it out.” He noticed Cas blushing and his inside all but melted. “So what made you come back? You got a wife you come here to introduce to the town or something?” Dean stared at the ground as he asked.

“Oh yeah, I hug all my friends like we just did so I can introduce my wife.”

Dean snorted “Okay, touché. You talking about your sixth sense thing?”

Cas rolled his eyes, “Yes, I just had a very strong feeling I was needed so I decided to come back.”

“Who told you?”

“Gabriel.”

“Sam, damn it.” Dean scrubbed his face. “Look, if that’s the only reason you came back-”

Cas did nothing but give him a look, “Dean I was planning to come home anyway, it has nothing to do if anything is going on or not. This is my home too. Everything I know is here I’ve been gone away for too long.”

“You wanna talk in my office?” Dean asked cautiously because he didn’t know if Cas wanted to be in such a closed off room with your ex.

“If you’re comfortable with that?”

“Yeah, man. Come on we can catch up a little bit.” The two walked through the waiting room of the garage and into Dean’s office. “After you.” Dean closed the door after him and sat behind his desk. Cas was standing awkwardly beside the window. “You can sit down if you want to, you know?”

“Oh. Of course, sorry, I’m just really impressed you really made this place your own.”

“Thanks, Sammy came in and helped me clean this out. All the boxes and shit dad left it was a mess.”

Cas didn’t say anything for a minute and just took the time to look at Dean. He was still extremely handsome and the years had done nothing but made him better looking. He and Dean had both started to develop age lines around their eyes and mouth. “I should have never left.”

“Cas you just got back okay, we don't have to do this right now and besides I was never upset that you left in the first place.”

“I made the wrong decision.” Cas looked up with tears in his eyes. “Dean, instead of running off and being miserable alone, I should have taken you with me.”

“You and I both know that wouldn’t have ended in anything good. You would have resented me for letting us leave Kansas. I know because that’s what I would have felt. Cas, I don’t blame you. Your mother had just died. You were lost you had everything ripped out from under you. If that had been my mom I would have done the same thing.”

“I broke your heart.”

“Nah, genetics broke it. I ain’t lettin’ you take the blame for that.” Dean tried to think of a joke to lighten the mood but knew better. “You’re here finally. It’s okay. You’re forgiven, you have been since the day you left.”

“I don’t deserve to be and you know I’m right.”

“Cas, if it was me, would you forgive me?”

“That’s different.”

“Bullshit, you know you wouldn’t be mad, so shut up and get over it.”

At that time Ash walked into Dean’s office. “Dean-o so quest--Novak! Holy shit he lives.” Ash walked over and gave Cas a hug and patted him on the back. “Thank god you’re back now he can quit whining, man.” Ash cast a look over his shoulder and ducked before a dirty rag made a connection with his head.

“It’s good to see you Ash you haven’t changed a bit.” Cas looked away from Dean. “I hate to cut this reunion short but there’s someone who’s going to kick my ass and also possibly cry that I need to see.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “It’s not me so, who?”

Finally, looking back at Dean, “I need to make a visit to the hospital.”

“Meg. I have an appointment so you can come with me, I mean, if you want, you can go by yourself I’m not forcing you or anything.”

Cas smiled softly. “I’ll go with you, Dean.”

“Alright. Hey, Ash? Call Sam for me and tell him his truck's ready and don't tell him about...Cas.”

“Whatever you say, boss man.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay since I've been terrible at updating I plan to add another chapter once again tomorrow so hopefully it makes up for my absence. Thank you for your patience I'll try to update as much I can!


	6. Chapter 6

“Hello, Mr.Winchester! How are you today?”

“Hey Lisa I’m doing pretty good today. How about you?” 

“I’m great, Ben made the soccer team he was pretty excited.” Lisa had been Meg’s secretary for about three years now and she was really good at remembering every single person that came in and knew everyone’s story. She leaned up close over the desk, “Who’s the cutie? ”

“Down girl. Uh, that’s Cas.” 

“Holy shit  _ that’s  _ Cas?” 

Dean shushed her then started laughing. “Yeah,  _ that’s  _ Cas.”

“Jesus, Dean. You said he was a good looking guy, but you didn’t say he was a damn hottie.”

“I’m gonna ignore everything that’s been said in the last few minutes and I’m gonna ask you to not say anything to Meg because it’s supposed to a surprise.” 

“I won’t say anything except Dean’s here. Scout’s honor.” Lisa held up three fingers that made Dean laugh again.

Shaking his head and walking over to where Cas had sat down, he noticed Cas twisting the belt on the old trench coat 

“Hey, it'll be okay Meg's gonna be so happy to see you.” 

“Oh yes, my best friend who I didn't even say goodbye to is going to be so enthusiastic to see me.” 

“Come on Meg's really grown up and her anger isn't what it use to be it won't be that bad.” Cas didn't respond just gave Dean a look. “Okay, point taken.” 

At that time a nurse came out. “Dean Winchester.” 

Dean slapped Cas’ knee, “Come on.” 

After waiting in the small room for 30 minutes and 30 minutes of making jokes to keep Cas calm came a knock. Meg walked in not looking up from Dean's chart to see Cas had shot up to stand when she entered. 

“Hey, Dean.”

“Dr.Masters.”

“Winchester you may be my patient but doesn't mean I won't kick your ass. So anything interesting happening lately I should know?”

“Uh, well, something pretty amazing happened today actually.” 

“Oh yeah?” Finally Meg turned, and the first thing her eyes landed on was the ruffled man in the trench coat. He gave her a small smile and Meg walked up and pulled him into a big hug. “You asshole.” 

Cas laughed. “Hello, Meg.” Then she shoved him and pinched his arm. “Ow!”

“I should do worse after what you did! Don't do it again.” Then she pointed at Dean. “I'm not saying that for me don't it to him again.”

That made Dean blush and clear his throat. “Sitting in the room with you guys.”

“Hey, if he were you, I'd be giving you the same speech. Zip it!” Meg walked up to Dean and shoved her stethoscope down the neck of his shirt.

“That's cold!” 

“What you embarrassed your nips are going to show?”

Dean rubbed his chest, “Don't objectify me, Meg. Cas is here he can see the abuse I take from you.”

“I'm about 99% of all people Castiel doesn't care if your nipples aren't shy.” 

Cas watched and almost felt contentment watching them bicker. 

Meg’s expression changed then. “Serious this time have you been okay lately? Any dizziness, weakness, or feeling hard to breathe?” 

Dean looked towards Cas, “No? Why?”

Meg turned to Cas, “Can you step outside for a few minutes?” 

Without saying a word Cas stepped outside and it wasn't until fifteen minutes passed that Meg told him to come back in the room. Dean had a confused look on his face, Meg didn't say a word, and Cas just went back to the chair he was previously sitting in.

Another five minutes go by and finally Dean breaks the silence, “You have said a word since Cas left the room what are you doing?”

“Testing something.” 

Dean pouted his lips. “Care to share with your classmates?” 

“One second.” Meg walked back up to Dean and again listened. “Mm, alright theory proven. False alarm.” 

“Meg, seriously, you're freaking me out.”

Cas spoke up now, “I have a feeling I know what you're doing.” 

“Dean. Your heart rate increases when Cas is near. You're having a Cas attack.”

“You suck you know that?” 

“Hey, you can't just bring my old best friend in here during your checkup and expect me not to mess with either of you. Dean everything sounds fine.”

Cas got up once again and pulled Meg into another hug. “I'm so happy to see you. I really should have come back sooner.” 

“Don't get all soft on me, Castiel. Dean, really, everything sounds exactly like I'd hope it would.”

Cas could see Dean trying to act calm. He could tell even now how Dean was preparing like he were expecting terrible news.

“I'll be right back, I have to go get a certain paper I forgot to add to your chart.”

Meg left, shutting the door behind her, “You look worried even though she just said you were fine. Dean, what's wrong?” 

Dean rubbed the palms of his hands on his jeans. “Nothing, just something's bound to go wrong.” 

“Dean nothing's going to go wrong. Why would you think that?”

“Too many good things have happened today, Cas.” 

Tilting his head and looking confused Cas said, “Good things do happen, Dean.” 

“Not in my experience.” 

After another few minutes and Meg making plans for the weekend to catch back up with Cas; Dean and Cas finally left. “Where to now?”

Cas looked down at his feet and spoke. “Can we go see your mother?” 

“You know she's gonna squeeze the shit out of you with every hug she lands, right?” 

“I won't complain.” 

They turned the corner and a familiar house came into view. It still looked exactly like Cas remembered. The paint on the house was of course new and had new shutters. 

Parked in the small driveway was what Cas assumed was Mary's van and a truck Cas remembered that belonged to Sam. 

Dean pulled the Impala in behind the truck and turned to Cas, “Come on stranger.” 

Cas had flashbacks to he and Dean's younger years and the numerous times he'd ridden home to the Winchester home. So many times that eventually his mother stopped worrying about where he was.

Dean stopped before they started up the front steps, “I'm pretty sure Sammy's around back so I'm gonna stop him from coming in for a few minutes so you can talk to mom.” 

“Dean-”

“Cas, it'll be fine. Mom will be really, really happy to see you.” Dean grabbed Cas’ shoulder and squeezed for that little reassurance. 

Cas felt like the three steps leading to the door were miles long. The rugs were hung over the railing and the screen door and main door were both open. He didn't know whether to knock or just go in and surprise her. 

He decided to just walk in and surprise her and as he walked into the Winchester household, he noticed so many things  _ hadn't  _ changed. The smell of the house was still fresh clean linen and some type of food, the walls were still cream colored, there were more pictures up, he admitted that, and the feel of the home still felt well like home.

As he walked into the kitchen Mary had her back to the doorway and she was humming to herself. Cas could tell she was making dinner and it made him smile because she still had that peaceful aura about her. Dean walked up behind Cas and gently nudged him forward. Cas cleared his throat and Mary turned around. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY so here's the deal the next chapter may be a tiny bit more serious and some shit goes down but it shouldn't be too bad...yet. A lot of things will be dealt with and some conversations that are needed yes they will be happening so don't worry. Also thank you to those that have continued to stay with me while I take my dang diddly time posting. OKAY THANK YOU.


	7. Chapter 7

As Mary turned around, she dropped the pan she had been holding and dove forward, "Castiel!"

Cas couldn’t hold back the huge smile that took over his face as she practically tackled him. She smelled like all of his favorite things like when he was a kid, like caramel, a cheap but worthy detergent, and the same shampoo Dean uses which made him chuckle. “Mary, it’s so good to see you.” She hadn’t changed much she was still the beautiful sunny woman she always was. She looked a bit older, but not much. Her hair still in loose curls and half pulled back Cas couldn’t help it, but lay his head on her shoulder.

As she pet his head Cas began to regret leaving the last mother figure he had. He missed the love that radiated from Mary. He may not have been her blood son, but Cas was still one of Mary’s boys.

“Look at you.” Mary cradled his face and smiled. “You’re so grown up and so handsome. I missed you so much, sweetie.” She kissed his forehead.

Cas doesn’t know why those words broke him, but he crumbled into her arms and began sobbing. She led him into the living room and sat them both on the couch. “I’m so sorry I ran away. I didn’t mean to wreck things I swear I didn’t.”

“Sshh, sshh, oh sweetie, you didn’t wreck anything. Who told you that?”

“No one I just know I did. I just dropped everyone like it was nothing. Dean, I left him. I never meant for the universe to actually break his heart.”

“Castiel, listen to me. Dean's heart is not your fault. He takes after my father, sadly, and it was going to cause problems sooner or later.”

“I’m so sorry, Mary. It feels like everything was my fault I broke things, I lied to Dean when I left I lied so much.”

Mary tucks a hand under his chin, “Son, you could have meant anything you said when you left and none of us would have turned you away today. We love you so much Castiel. People do a lot of stupid things when they’re scared and it’s a normal human instinct. It’s up to the people involved if they linger on the history or not.”

Cas chuckled and he heard the two brothers enter the house. “It was either you or Ash I’m just saying. If it was you I’m gonna murder you and if it was Ash I’ll murder him too.”

“Sounds like you got a special oral fixation there Sammy. Now does mom have to give you _the talk_?"  
  
Cas got up from the couch and practically knocked Sam down to give him a hug. “Sam, look at you. You’re huge!” Sam was much different than the small teen he’d been when Cas had left tall, handsome, long hair, muscles, but one thing that was still the same he still had the brightest eyes and had the biggest dimples when he smiled at you.

“It’s good to see you Cas. Yeah, I guess my body got sick of Dean being bigger than me it did a good job at least. You’ve changed too not much, but you look different.” Cas had aged beautifully and it made him that much more attractive no one could deny that. 

Leaning against the opening from the kitchen to the living room Dean watched and thought back to when they were all younger the only thing missing was Anna. He felt true contentment for the first time in years. Everyone was where they were meant to be. He watched Cas and Sam talking and it was like Cas hadn’t left, he’d never gone away, he was right here this whole time. 

“The picture looks right again doesn’t it?”

Dean hadn’t heard his mother get up from the couch and walk towards him. “I mean, not exactly the most awful group of people to be together.” Chuckling to himself and then quietly whispering to his mother, “I’m really glad he came back mom.”

“So am I sweetie. Now come on.” Nudging his shoulder, “Let’s not let Sam hog him.” 

As Mary walked over to the boys laughing at them and telling them to come into the kitchen with her to finish fixing dinner and they could continue catching up while Dean clutched his chest and tried to steady himself when the room started to spin...

  
  
  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for taking such a long time with posting I promise this fic is not abandoned.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so as of right now I have nothing going on so finishing this should be happening SOON. B E W A R E.

Steadying his arm against the wall Dean has gotten very good at not letting it show when it suddenly feels like the world is floating away. “Cas you wanna help me set up the table?”

“You know I would love to Dean.”

As the two went around the small eating table the feeling in the air felt like it did the first time Cas had come over to Dean’s house. Cas had been intimidated by Mary at first because as soon as the two had walked in she had told them, “Set the plates out and get your friend to help you, Dean.”

Dean hadn’t even noticed his dizziness had gone away by the time Sam walked in with an extra chair for Cas and bumped Dean in the back of the knees. “Hey! Careful I’m delicate.”

“Delicate my ass. I could throw you through the window and you’d already be back inside to fight.”

Cas just snickered.

“What’s so funny?” Dean felt like maybe Cas was doubting he could actually.

“Nothing really has changed has it?” Giving a toothy grin and letting his crinkly eyes show with how happy he was to see that the Winchesters hadn’t changed. They were still the same brothers, he had met so many years ago. Loved each other a lot, but still wasn’t afraid to pick on the other in a normal brotherly fashion. “I missed this. That’s all.”

“We’ve really missed you, Cas.” Sam walked over and again swallowed Cas into a hug. Patting him on the back then walking back into the kitchen with his mother Cas looked over at Dean, who, he’d been doing this a lot Cas had noticed, “You know you’re staring a lot Winchester.” Giving a cocky smile.

“Uh...SORRY. Sorry, just...really can’t believe you’re here.” He chuckled.

“I’m fighting myself to not make flirty jokes.”

“Please..don’t fight it.”

At some point the two had walked towards each other and Cas felt a soft touch to the palm of his hand and if still by nature fitted his hand to Dean’s.

* * *

By the time they had all finished with dinner it was dark out and Mary was yawning, “Well, I’m going to bed you all can stay up and regret it tomorrow, but some of us need as much beauty sleep as we can get.”

Sam was clearing the table, but leaned over to kiss his mother on top of the head. “Ridiculous to do when you’re always the prettiest in the room.” Mary snorted.

“Dean why don’t you take Cas into town and show him things that are new?” Mary was looking sweetly but Cas and Dean knew her intentions which made both the boys blush.

“If Cas is okay with that?” Dean almost felt like Cas wouldn’t want to he didn’t know why he thought that when he knew even now if Dean asked him to go two states over with him that he would in a heartbeat.

“Dean Winchester, I would love for you to show me around town because quite frankly, I am nowhere near tired.”

“Sammy, do you wanna go with us?” Dean turned and asked considerately. 

Sam outright cackled, “Oh no, trust me, I’m fine staying at home with a sleeping mother than to be out with you two who haven’t seen each other in eight years I’ll be fine taking a rain check for tonight.”

“Well you suck. You and me tonight you ready to learn about shit you missed?”

“Show me what I’ve missed out on Dean.”

* * *

“You’ve kept baby in really good shape I mean I’m not surprised, but I’m impressed.” 

“Sam says baby’s always matched how I’m feeling she’s really taken care of, it’s because that’s all I do is take care of her. She’s my pride I gotta make sure I can keep something together.” After the words left his mouth, he regretted them he hadn’t meant the tone it was said in.

“You’re doing better than I have at least I can’t seem to mend anything despite my intentions.” 

Looking over at Cas while waiting at the red light, “You know I’m gonna keep reminding you that you didn’t break anything here, right?”

“Then why did god punish me by taking my mother then making you sick after I left. I left so people would  _ stop  _ dying because of me. Everyone I love ends up dying everything I touch everything I want ends up being burned I make the wrong decisions and I’m punished for them but the people I love are punished too.”

Pulling over on the side of the road, “Listen to me me being sick is  _ not  _ your fault Cas do you understand me? It’s genetics my grandpa had heart problems so did dad. This isn’t a punishment to you it just shit that happens, but I’m not going anywhere I’ll be damned if this kills me.” Smiling brightly at Cas, “I’m invincible Castiel.” Reaching over to grab Cas’ hand, “It’s not your fault.” 

Rubbing his thumb over Dean’s another memory flooded back. Dean had just gotten his license and Cas was the first he took for a ride and he remembers how happy Dean had been and how they had talked about moving away together and starting a bed and breakfast. 

The radio was playing softly to the point, neither men had remembered that it had been playing when Cas started singing along, “I hurt myself today to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain the only thing that’s real.” 

Dean doesn’t know what came over him, but he grabbed the back of Cas’ neck and pulled him forward into a kiss. Cas didn’t fight him just went forward willingly and whimpered as if Dean were oxygen that would give him his last breath.

When they pulled apart, gasping for air Dean was the first to say something, “Don’t ever leave without me again.” 

“Yes, Dean.”

“Okay, now before everything closes let’s explore town.” 

  



	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry it's such a short chapter but oh my what will happen to our Dean??

Cas woke up the next morning in Dean’s room. Nothing had happened, they walked the streets, just talking and catching up. Cas felt more alive than he had in years. Dean was different, he was much more beautiful somehow. Throughout the entire night, he never pushed Cas to talk about the past. He seemed content to be just as they were right then.

He felt a strong arm wrap around his waist, and he chuckled. Dean always liked to act like he didn’t like to “cuddle”, but even when he and Cas started dating, he was always the one who seemed to initiate it.

“Dean.”

A muffled voice came out from behind Cas. “Five more minutes.”

Cas snorted. “Fine, you get five more minutes, but I’m getting up.” He removed Dean’s arm and the other man gave a sad huff. He turned over, and in a minute, went right back to snoring. Cas’ bare feet shuffled across the floor. Nothing had really changed here; there was still the two Led Zeppelin posters hanging up. One Dean had bought at a new music shop that had opened when they were kids, and the other had been bought by his dad.

Dean was typically a neat person, believe it or not, so his room was tidy and organized accordingly. He had a bookshelf in the corner that had different genres of books and some DVDs thrown in here and there.

Cas just smiled to himself. He couldn’t believe the tiny things about Dean he’d forgotten , though deep down he never forgot. Like the way Dean preferred to sleep on the right side of the bed, where the door was, so if he heard his mom he could run straight out the door. When he brushed his teeth, he couldn’t keep himself from singing some ridiculous made up song.

Thinking back to when they were younger, they both use to talk about running away and just driving across country. Cas wanted a van, and Dean was just fine with driving with Baby and Cas. Back then, it seemed easy for them both to just up and go; no need in worrying about their family just as long as they had each other. It use to seem that was all they needed. It wasn’t until his mother died Cas started telling himself he could never be enough for Dean.

Dean groaned, and finally looked over to where Cas was staring out of the window. “Mornin’.”

Cas had to hold in a laugh, because he always did have the best bed head. “Good morning, Dean.”

“Why do you always have to wake up so damn early?”

“It may be early, but time doesn’t stop or slow down does it?”

Dean stopped for a minute to think, “Listen, I need my coffee before you start spouting out your knowledge obi-wan.”

The two of them headed downstairs noticing Mary had yet to wake up herself so they quietly made their way into the kitchen and Cas took over the duty of making the coffee while Dean fought to keep himself awake to make breakfast. It was sort of odd something Cas used to dream about, domesticity, despite being apart for years skillfully moving around each other to do different things.

At one point Cas stopped in his tracks leaning against the kitchen table just watching Dean push several pieces of bacon back and forth with his hair still not fixed and sticking up in different directions sipping on a cup of coffee. Part of him had a pain in his own heart over it, he could have had this all these years but instead he hid from it.

“What?” He hadn’t noticed Dean had turned around.

“Nothing, just having what you would call a _moment_.”

“I know your game you’re just ogling me, it’s okay, but just know I’m not that kind of gal take me on another date at least.”

Walking up to him Cas pulled Dean into a somewhat desperate kiss. “I really missed you.”

“I know.”

Cas just rolled his eyes and laughed, “Asshole.”

“Alright the kitchen is my sacred place don’t tarnish it!”

“Good morning Mary.”

“Good morning boys now get out of my kitchen so I can finish up what you started.”

“Mom, we were making breakfast so you could take it easy besides, we’re doing fine here making it ourselves.”

“Oh yeah, it looked like you weren’t distracted while around grease and fire at all were you?”

In the blink of an eye everything Cas thought he was gaining felt as if it were being tugged out from under him and before anyone could blink Dean was on the floor and shaking violently.

The last thing Dean consciously heard and felt were his mom running to call 911 and Cas kneeling somewhere beside him screaming, “ _Dean!"_


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!!!!

"This can't be happening. Does this happen usually?" Castiel was feeling frantic, something was very wrong, he could just  _ feel _ it.

"He's going to be fine Cas listen to me sweetheart okay? You hear me, look me in the eye Cas. He's going to be fine, he's done this before I can promise he will be just fine." Mary was cradling Cas' face and trying her best to keep them both as calm as possible. She had to call Sam she wasn't lying when she said he would be fine, but she always called him when something like this happened.

While Mary went to call her other son, Cas sat beside Dean's unconscious body and held his hand tightly. Hearing the sirens so soon was a shock to Cas but he guessed Dean was a known regular that was serious and needed the immediate care. "Hey, stay here don't go where I can't follow just yet, okay?" 

For a brief moment he swore he felt Dean's hand tighten around his as if in a reassuring way. He didn't even hear the door being opened, but soon he was being shoved gently to the side, "Sir, you'll need to step aside for now, we can take it from here." 

Watching helplessly from the corner of the room with Mary holding his hand. He couldn’t believe this was happening, what if Dean  _ didn’t  _ make it and he never got to tell Dean he came back solely to pick up where they left off. Cas had never felt this haunted in his entire life and it seemed as if everything were going in slow motion, he almost didn’t hear Mary telling him that she was going to ride in the ambulance with Dean. 

“Cas, I’m goning to have to ride in the ambulance with Dean, sweetie do you think you can drive my car to the hospital?” Mary figured it would be okay and he could meet with Sam at the ER. 

“Uh, yes, yes, I can do that.” 

Mary pulled him into a hug just as the paramedics finished loading Dean onto the stretcher. “I can promise it will be okay. Please believe me, call it a mother’s intuition.”  

“I believe you.” Cas took a deep breath, calming himself even if just a little bit. Watching as they were taking Dean’s unconscious body by him and he once again grabbed his hand, “Hey, I’ll see you soon, yeah?” 

Kissing Cas’ forehead right before heading out the door Mary looked back at him one more time before following them out of the door. 

Cas took a minute to collect himself when he didn’t see the car keys hanging by the door, he started to panic a bit once again. 

* * *

 

Sam was halfway to the hospital when his phone rang, “Sam, where does your mother keep her car keys?” 

“Uh, she usually sets them on the kitchen counter, Cas are you driving to the hospital yourself?” 

“Yes.”

“You sure you can, I can swing by and pick you up?”

“Sam, I’m perfectly capable of driving myself, I have since I was about fifteen.” 

Sam had to chuckle at that, but still felt a huge string of worry hit him, “Just promise me you won’t get too panicked mom and I both know he’s gonna be fine so take your time getting to the hospital, yeah? He’ll probably be just admitted to a room like usual.” 

“I am actually pretty calm, Sam. Thank you for your concern, but I can assure you I am perfectly in control of my state of mind at the moment.” 

Sam could tell Cas was being serious and some of the bad feeling seemed to dissipate from him. “Okay, well I’ll see you there.” 

“See you there Sam.” 

* * *

 

Cas watched as the ambulance pulled from the Winchester driveway and walked to the kitchen to get Mary’s keys which had an empty bullet casing and a sunflower keychain. He smiled at the thought that John probably gave her the bullet after he came home from his service.  

He did stop to think for a second what if Dean needed something from the house? Would he need a change of clothes? Would he even be staying long enough for a change of clothes? Deciding to let Mary and Sam make those decisions, since they’ve done this enough times, he made his way down the front steps. 

* * *

 

Walking into the emergency room was always one of Sam’s least favorite things, but he still took a seat by the front desk. He didn’t like to see people in pain. Once upon a time when Anna had first gotten sick, he use to promise her that he would be the one to make her better. Being a doctor sounded like the best thing in the world until he found out the downside of that. Seeing other innocent, frail, or just undeserving people go through pain, death, the loss was too much to see. 

Becoming a lawyer was the next best thing fighting for the good guys? That’s what Sam wanted to do. He wanted to be a hero. To help people would be the biggest ability, he could ever wish for. 

When Anna did die he didn’t fully understand at the time why it had such an impact on Cas. He  _ was  _ angry for a short period of time, but once Dean had explained things to him he knew why Cas ran. He  _ really  _ understood it all when Dean became sick. Why stay to watch someone you love die? At the same time, why would you leave the ones you love when they are dying or have died. 

He went through a lot of thinking in his life and it all usually ended up back at Cas. People never understood why all three of the Winchesters were so hung up on one person. Fiddling with his tie Sam chuckled to himself. 

If it weren’t for Cas none of them would have found the courage to do the things they ended up doing. Not saying he wouldn’t have eventually become a lawyer on his own, but...if he hadn’t seen what one of his best friend’s had gone through he would have never understood what true loss felt like. He didn’t have that type of attachment to his father so losing John wasn’t something life changing. Losing Anna  _ and  _ Cas was big. For all of them. 

“Sam?” 

Looking up and seeing Meg was somewhat of a good change of thought. “Yeah?”

“You need to come to the back. Now.” 

* * *

 

Castiel took his time, much as he could, getting to the hospital considering they were only about twenty minutes from it. Scrubbing his mouth Cas began to think once again, what if Dean didn’t make it? What if, what if, what if? 

In the back of his mind, he knew better than to think it. The thing he couldn’t stop thinking about the most was when he lost his mother Dean was there. He was there when she had gotten so bad that Cas would cry almost every single night because he couldn’t take away her pain. Now...he had wasted so much time and Dean’s needed him and he wasn’t there. 

He hadn’t realized in the midst of his thinking he had accelerated the car. He also didn’t see the semi truck rounding the corner right before everything went completely dark. 


	11. Chapter 11

“Tell me he’s going to be okay?!” Mary was in a bit of a panic, considering Dean wasn’t responding like he usually did. 

Meg didn’t like jumping to conclusions but the fact Dean’s blood pressure along with his heart rate were down wasn’t a good sign. This wasn’t supposed to be happening she was sure that it wouldn’t reach this point. Dean was plenty healthy enough to fight this off what did she miss? Did he get worse and she hadn’t checked? 

“Mrs.Winchester I’m going to need you to give my nurses some room to work, okay? I promise it’s all going to be okay.” 

Meg tried her best to keep her composure in order to not make Mary any more nervous than she already was. “Is Sam here?” She figured maybe having him with her might take down some of her stress levels she didn’t need two Winchesters down and out right now. 

“He might be here by now? I’m not really sure.” 

“Why don’t you come to the waiting room with me to see if he’s here yet?”

* * *

“We’ve got a priority 2 coming in. Immediate care is required.”

“Sir, if you can hear me we’re going to do everything we can just hold on.” 

“I--is that Cas?” Mary stopped dead in her tracks and almost collapsed on the spot. 

"What happened to him?” Sam ran beside the paramedics as quickly as he could.

“Sir, I’m going to need you to stay back unless you’re immediate fami-”

“I  _ am  _ his family. I’m his brother what happened to him?” 

The paramedics spared a glance at each other one slowing and the other taking Cas to the back, “There was a semi truck that didn’t stop at the red light due to having a heart attack. It hit him head on and flipped him several times.” 

Sam took in a deep breath, “Is the driver okay? Was anyone else involved?” 

“The driver didn’t make it and no it was only two vehicles. It was a miracle we were two minutes away from the accident or who knows if your brother had made it.”

“You said priority 2 I know that means that it’s usually pretty serious is he gonna make it?” 

“You’re just going to have to trust the doctors will do everything they can once they find out what needs to be done.” With a gentle clap to the shoulder the paramedic made his own way back into the ICU. 

Walking back down the hall towards Meg and his mother Sam realized how downhill today had gone. He’d gotten into a fight with Gabriel this morning and now in the middle of all of this he needed him more than ever but there was no way he could call him now. Someone would need to call him soon though. 

What if Cas doesn’t make it? What if Dean doesn’t? How would anyone handle the loss of both of them so sudden and would it destroy Mary? 

“Sam, I need to get in the back with Dean. You guys can come back if you want but you really will need to stay back a bit until we figure things out.”    


Sam only shook his head and took his mother’s hand and when they walked back neither expected to see the lifeless like bodies of Dean and Cas lying side by side. Dean with shallow breathing. Cas bloody and not moving this wasn’t a way anyone would have ever pictured the two men. 

The image had always been of the two of them being healthy, happy, and breathing normally.

Mary gasped and spun into Sam’s chest and began sobbing at the sight of seeing both her boys in this condition. It made her hold Sam that much tighter in her arms. Sam returned the hug with as much fear as hers. 

“Who’s taking Castiel into surgery?” Meg turned to the nurses working on Cas, Katie was the young nurses’ name Meg remembered, and hoped to god that they had called in Dr. Cybulski. If Meg herself wouldn’t be able to work on him at least someone who knew what they were doing would be. 

“Dr. Cybulski is making her way over right now.” Katie was quickly trying to get Cas’ vitals before the doctor herself showed up. 

It put at least Meg’s mind at ease a bit so she could get to work on the man in her own care at the moment. “Okay, I’m going to need something to get his heart rate up before we try to get his blood pressure rate up.” Hurrying herself, but doing her best to keep herself as calm as possible she had a mission to save Dean.

* * *

_ “We’re waiting for Dr.Cybulski she’s about ten minutes out he’s still unconscious.”  _

_ What was happening? He couldn’t move or speak. Where was he? The last thing he remembered was driving to the hospital. Did he pass out? Wait….truck. He remembers a truck.  _

_ Another female voice came close, “What are his vitals? Has he been responsive at all?” Light. There was suddenly light, but he still couldn’t move or ask what was happening. “He isn’t reacting we need to get a head scan immediately. We need to check for possible bleeding in the brain.”  _

_ In that moment things seemed to get fuzzy again. _

* * *

Meg looked over when she heard the words uttered, “You think he has brain trauma?” 

The other doctor looked over at her and looked sadly. “He’s not reacting to anything if there’s possible bleeding I want to go in and try to take down swelling if I can.” 

Simply nodding, she went back to working on Dean. Her nurse walked over with a dose of ibutilide that she had asked for, “Thank you."

Suddenly the entire room spun around at the sound of a flat line.

* * *

_ Floating. Was this floating? He couldn’t hear anyone anymore and he had to admit it scared him a little bit. “Why can’t I move?!” All he could think about was getting to Dean he needed to get to him.  _

_ What if something happened and he wasn’t there again?  _

_ “Cas?” _

* * *

There were so many things that happened in those moments. Sam can still see a lot of stuff very clearly as if it were all moving in slow motion and with no sound. Everything seemed like a dream. A doctor and nurses by Cas’ side and the same thing beside Dean. 

How was it possible for two separate people to do it at the same time? They were prepping Cas one minute to have a scan and Dean was getting a dose of something to have him up and going again. This was happening and he didn’t know what to do. He felt his mother clinging to him harder than he ever felt before. 

"Sam!” Mary was shaking him, trying her best to get his attention. “Honey, look at me, okay?” Suddenly he was six years old again when grandpa Campbell was dying. “Everything’s going to be okay. Yeah?” Was she saying that to herself or to Sam he didn’t know, but he still pulled his mother close.

Meg was suddenly talking loudly, “Dean? Dean look at me, you with me buddy? You have to fight for me.” 

Sam saw it. He doesn’t know if anyone else noticed Dean had extended his left arm over to where Cas was. As soon as Meg got him back he was gone again.

* * *

It had been a full seven minutes since the flat line and Sam always remembered when Meg was studying, “ _ Did you know if the brain goes without oxygen, just six minutes after the heart stops? Isn’t that insane?!”  _

Dr. Cybulski stepped back and put a hand on her lead nurse’s shoulder. She turned to Sam and Mary, “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t fast enough.” 

“Brandi, come help me. I am  _ not  _ going to lose him too.” 

“Meg.” 

“ _ NO.  _ Don’t do that to me. I am not losing them both!” 

“It’s been too long. I’m sorry.” 

Meg let out a scream that Sam had never heard her do before and never wanted to hear her make again. “I lost them both!” She walked over to the other two and was swallowed in a hug where all three began to cry. “Mary I’m so sorry I didn’t save him. I didn’t save either of them, I don’t even know what happened to Dean. I failed him.” 

“You didn’t fail anyone. The things you’ve done for both of them and you can’t control fate Meg.” Mary was somehow calmer now and was holding up both Meg and Sam. “Things that were meant to be will happen as they were supposed to. Besides, at least they’re not alone.”

* * *

Stepping out of the car from being annoyed from the car ride over, “Can you two  _ please  _ not flirt with each other while I’m in your presence.” Meg popped the trunk and brought out a beautiful set of green and blue flowers. 

“It’s not flirting when you disagree with someone that you don’t need another cat.” 

“Samsquatch you’re not hearing me. They are brothers! Twins in fact and one just so happens to be a little chunky.” 

“Gabriel you know that’s not gonna convince me to get another cat. Let alone two.” 

“You’re no fun.” 

Sam rolled his eyes and followed Meg up the hill with a pouty boyfriend not far behind. “Hey guys.” 

“So what do you think? You like the flowers I made the arrangement myself.” Meg sat down the flowers and admired her work. “Pretty fitting if I say so myself.” 

“I still think it’s a little weird you did their eye colors.” Sam elbowed Gabriel in the ribs, knocking the wind out of the smaller of the two out. “What can you blame me?” 

Ignoring the two bickering as usual Meg continued her conversation. “You guys literally cannot do anything without the other and it really sucks you know that? Listen, we’ll be back next week. Your mom wants to see you she even made you something. You know, to spruce up the place.”  Meg patted the flowers and stood up. “Alright chuckleheads let’s go. I got night shift tonight.” 

Sam turned to look over his shoulder swearing he could see two figures standing by the tombstones. “See you later guys.”  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here it is. The ending. I am so thankful to those who have literally stuck with me this entire time. I can understand if some don't like the ending but I tried to make a decent somewhat okayish ending? Maybe not too sad am I right?

**Author's Note:**

> I have the story almost completed so I'll be posting chapters every other day. Leave comments I wanna know what you guys think!


End file.
